Archive for the humor Category
humor, Poser of the Week with tags Hillbilly Ninja, Ninja Bob, posers of the week, side stance on January 7, 2011 by bigstickcombat
Commentary, humor, Poser of the Week with tags Ninja Bob, posers of the week on October 30, 2010 by bigstickcombat
Where do I start with this one? Honestly, my first reaction was “What the #@!?”
That was also my second reaction. The guy on the left is leaned too far forward, and his hands don’t guard his head. If you were to grab his hair you’d pull him right over. He also can’t land a punch with anything on it because he’s hunched forward. In a fight you will see this guy throw flailing, hooking punches (windmilling) with both hands that have no power because he’s trying to keep his head down to keep from being hit.
The guy on the right …”What the #@!!?” A simple solution is to rush him and bowl him over.
Why does the left hand on the left knee stay glued to the left knee as it moves backwards?
What is amazing is that this photo series is not of two 10-year-old kids posting themselves on You Tube. “Hey, look! Me and Billy are doing kung-fu in the backyard.”
I think these guys need help from a real master, like Ninja Bob. Maybe Ninja Bob should feature these guys on his site to make himself look like Bruce Lee by comparison.
humor, Poser of the Week with tags Black Scorpion Ninjutsu Society, Muay Thai, Ninja Bob, Poser of the Week on October 15, 2010 by bigstickcombat
On the Black Scorpion Ninjutsu Society homepage, Ninja Bob (founder of the Black Scorpion Ninjutsu Society) announces that he is available for “training, shows, demonstrations, seminars & interviews!”
The homepage is labeled “Ninja Bob’s Muay Thai,” and believe me, nobody was better at Muay Thai than the ninja. And when you say BLACK SCORPION NINJA, now you’re talking real Muay Thai, not the phony crap some Laotian might teach you.
Not only do you learn real ninja muay thai, but you also get this awesome patch:
humor, Uncategorized with tags arnis, eskrima, kali, self-defense, shovel on October 9, 2010 by bigstickcombat
Two men were walking down the street. They just so happened to be going into the same direction
and wound up side by side. To break the awkwardness, one asked the other, “So that’s a fancy uniform you got there. What do you do, karate or something like that?”
“Oh, no,” the other replied. “I’m Supreme Grandmaster Datu Smith. I am the world’s greatest combat expert, and study the world’s greatest style, Kili-Kili Kali.”
“You got a lotta patches there.”
“Yes, I do. I worked hard to earn them all, but the one I’m most proud of is the Kili-Kili- Kali International Ass. badge.” Supreme Grandmaster Datu Smith then did a flourish with the two rattan sticks he was carrying.
“So you fight with them sticks?”
“Yes. And the single stick, knife, chain, nunchaku, staff, spear, sword, machete, and 23 other weapons. Would you like to learn Kili-Kili Kali?”
“Well, I’d like to, but things are kinda tight right now. I’m a ditch digger and I don’t make much.”
“But what would you do if you were attacked?”
“I’d just whack ’em with this here shovel. I been a ditch digger for years, and I used a shovel on the farm long before that. I’m pretty handy with a shovel.”
“You’d be lucky to last 10 seconds. You have no technique. On the other hand, I could teach you 17 different defenses with a stick, and that’s just on angle number 1!” Supreme Grandmaster Datu Smith briefly demonstrated an x block, a wing block, a gunting, a block and hit, a pass and hit, and a few more moves.
“Wow, them sticks look like blades in a blender. I dunno know, though. My dad was in the Korean War, and he took out a guy with one of those little shovels.”
They were so engaged in their conversation that both men were surprised by the wild eyed man at the street corner. He was high on something. His matted hair and glassy red eyes created the impression of a rabid animal.
“I’ve got it.” Supreme Grandmaster Datu Smith clenched both sticks and began to move in close –after all, he was a master of close range combat. He stepped and then seemed to freeze for a moment. “Should I merge, or meet? Maybe an X block follwed by an… no, wait, how about an abaniko to the hand, followed by a…”
As he was debating his next move, the psycho lunged forward and stabbed him.
The ditch digger brought the shovel resting on his shoulder right down on the psycho. The flat of the blade struck the deranged man on the skull, and clanged like a bell. It was a strike powered by both hands, calloused by long years of hard work. He had launched the strike without even thinking, and struck the mad man with the knife a second time as he fell.
The ditch digger waited for the ambulance to come for the two men. The martial arts expert was losing a lot of blood, but the knife had missed his heart.
As Supreme Grandmaster Datu Smith was wheeled on the gurney into a waiting ambulance, he weakly whispered to the ditch digger, “Don’t thank me, I was just doing what any other Supreme Grandmaster Datu of Kili-Kili Kali would have done.” He then gripped the ditch digger’s hand briefly and let go as the ambulance doors were shut.
The ambulance raced off with lights flashing and sirens wailing. The ditch digger looked down at his hand. Resting in his palm was a blood stained business card for Supreme Grandmaster Datu Smith and Kili-Kili Kali.
humor with tags kali, zucchini on October 6, 2010 by bigstickcombat