Poser of the Week

Grandmaster Kuko

Grandmaster Kuko  is in the upper 2% of FMA who do not suck, because he protects his armpit.  A lot of guys out there will talk crap, but one solid shot to the armpit and they suddenly shut up.

In daily life Grandmaster Kuko travels inconspicuously as a door-to-door knife salesman. In fact, he never has to sharpen his knives –when one gets dull, he simply throws it away and draws another one from its scabbard. Right now he is wearing enough knives to last him until 2033.

Another hallmark of his legitimacy is the authentic Filipino pajamas. In the Philippines, particularly my travels in Ipis Province (original home of the blind princess), the real Kali masters were easily recognizable by their pajamas. Only someone at my advanced level can spot a pair of genuine Kali grandmaster pajamas in an instant. If you see someone wearing Sponge Bob or Hello Kitty pajamas, do NOT be fooled –he is not a genuine grandmaster, no matter how convincing he may sound.

You may ask, “Why does Grandmaster Kuko have two knives in the same hand?” Those aren’t knives. He has let his fingernails grow long and painted them gunmetal gray.

Note how the rookie would have drawn two swords, but only someone in-the-know like Grandmaster Kuko would leave a sword in its scabbard and try to wield two knives in the same hand.

You’re thinking, “What the @#$!?”

You don’t realize that your overconfidence will be your downfall. When you hit his exposed elbow, driving that arm down and trapping his sword under his armpit, immobilizing both weapons in a single blow, your overconfidence will grow yet again. And Grandmaster Kuko will be smiling, because he’ll have you right where he wants you.

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