Poser of the Week

Man, I can’t believe I am giving this stuff away. If you thought Supreme Tahong Deutschenschlorfer was deadly, he’s got nothing on Ultimate Exalted Grandmaster Asocena.

This is the sort of super-secret ultra-deadly technique that I would only teach behind closed doors. After the student has signed a multiple-year contract to be drawn directly out of his bank account, and purchased a genuine Filipino gi (with a small markup for me), and paid the $45 yearly membership fee in Big Stick Combat International, Inc.

Ultimate Exalted Grandmaster Asocena can literally kill you with one hand behind his back, as seen in the photo. 98% of all Filipino styles are crap because their so-called fighting stances leave the left kidney completely exposed. Try doing arnis when you’re hooked up to a dialysis machine. I don’t think so.

Ultimate Exalted Grandmaster Asocena

By placing one malaking barquillo (Tagalog for “big ass candy cane”) behind his back,  Ultimate Exalted Grandmaster Asocena is not only protecting his left kidney, but is prepared to unleash a flurry of offensive strikes in a nanosecond. Particularly deadly is the behind-the-back abaniko strike that opponents never see coming until it is too late. Their last thoughts are “Hey, what’s a barber shop pole doing here?” And then WHAM! Lights out.

He hears Grandmaster Asocena's voice.


One Response to “Poser of the Week”

  1. […] skeptical readers e-mailed me and told me they doubted that Exalted Grandmaster Asocena is in a fact a true […]

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