Poser of the Week: Guro Kim Chee

As privileged readers of Big Stick Combat, you are gaining a rare and lucky insight into a little-known highly secret move. Before you read any further I must ask you to raise your right hand and solemnly swear,

“I hereby vow never to divulge the secrets about to be shared with me, or may the fringe be torn from my pseudo-Japanese gi/Filipino uniform and five –F-I-V-E– of my patches be violently ripped off, even if it irreparably harms the delicate satin fabric.

I also agree not to hold Big Stick Combat or his associates liable for any and all damages that may result from me applying these super-secret, mega-lethal techniques.”

Now to the good stuff. Here Guro Kim Chee demonstrates the Propeller Grip, a technique that is so lethal that it is not safe to train with it. I suggest that you merely think about applying it. Do NOT try to apply this in tournaments. I cannot be responsible for the wake of total devastation, nor do I think you want to live the rest of your life with such carnage weighing on your conscience.

Guro Kim Chee: Note her gi is half blue and half black.

Guro Kim Chee has prevailed in multiple death matches in the Philippines, and she will be the first to tell you that killing a man is a heavy burden to carry.

In the Propeller Grip, hold the stick (It must be rattan!) in the middle, and fan it back and forth rapidly like a propeller. It is now possible to unleash a devastating barrage of strikes, hitting rat-a-tat-tat, like a playing card slapping tire spokes on a kid’s bicycle. If the opponent tries to evade the flurry of lethal blows, the propeller creates such a strong wind that it chills him and hypothermia sets in.

Don’t try this in tournaments! –your doomed opponent’s last words will be, “It’s so c-c-c-cold.” Your Grand Champion trophy will be slim consolation as your opponent is wheeled away to the morgue.

About Guro Chee: When not killing people in Filipino death matches, selling DVD’s, teaching seminars, or being featured in martial arts magazines, Guro Chee likes to apply conditioner to her hair and appear in Bud Lite commercials.

Grandmaster Bulgogi: His gi is half white and half black

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2 Responses to “Poser of the Week: Guro Kim Chee”

  1. Dude, you’re funny. You have a talent for sarcasm and humor.

  2. wael77,

    Thanks.

    I try to have fun, at the risk of offending somebody. Maybe it’s my way of getting away from all of the dreary, “I’m the world’s deadliest practitioner of the world’s deadliest art. I am so lethally awesome that I am now a full-time apprentice to the Grim Reaper.”

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