Poser of the Week

Stop Laughing, and Attack Me.

I’m starting a new feature I’m calling “Poser of the Week.” While on the Internet looking for photos to illustrate my posts I’ve been appalled by the ridiculous photos I see. I’ve posted about this before, but it is amazing how many of these photos proliferate on the net.

These pictures generally have the following in common:

  1. An Exotic Weapon(s). The guy can’t just pose with a stick, it has to be a kris sword with a red tassel. A pair of hook swords, a spear, a three-sectional staff, two swords, etc.
  2. A Fancy Uniform. You can’t just pose in sweats or suitable athletic clothing, you need to be barefooted, wearing a satin gi, a belt with ends drooping past your knees, fringe is always good, contrasting trim, a bunch of patches (flags and skulls are good), a headband, preferably a long one so an opponent can grab it and swing you around like a dead cat, etc.
  3. An Intimidating Pose That Is Completely Useless for Fighting. You can’t stand in a fighting stance, you need to crouch, cross your arms, cross your legs, extend your arm(s), lock out 0ne leg, etc.

What worries me is I don’t know if these guys just choose these poses because they figure they’re for show, or if they actually think these are combat stances.

When I was a teenager the David Carradine Kung-Fu series was the rage, so my friend and I got Chinese uniforms and slippers (Just like Bruce Lee!) by mail order. We waved our hands around, did jumping kicks and spinning backfists, and made clawing motions with our hands while cross-stepping our way across my back patio. Because nunchakus were illegal in California, we made our own, using eye screws and pine dowels. I’m not ashamed because we were kids and we didn’t know any better. We didn’t even have the Internet to look up techniques, and there wasn’t the DVD market there is today, nor Amazon.

What is the excuse of the people posing in these pictures, calling themselves teachers and masters? Some may complain that I am being negative or cruel, but the goal is to help cut the crap.

One time when we visited the late GM Giron, my friend and I were showing some of the short stick techniques we had learned, and we were slapping our arms as we hit, just like our teacher did.

When we finished, GM Giron said, “I don’t know why some people slap themselves when they do arnis.”

Ouch! It was embarrassing.

Now my friend and I could have got upset, and turned bitter. We could have complained about his negativity, and vowed never to go back. But we didn’t. We realized that GM Giron was right, and so we cut the crap. If a little embarrassment helped me to trim away the nonsense, then thank you, GM Giron.

I’m not anywhere near GM Giron’s level. But you don’t have to measure up to the great masters to point out the blatant nonsense on the Internet.


4 Responses to “Poser of the Week”

  1. Man, I’ve been reading your blog for about week now (stumbled upon).
    Not only are you hilarious, you get the points across. Can’t wait for next weeks Poser of the Week.

    Nice work!

  2. Hey there. A friend pointed me here. I’d love to subscribe to your blog and publish the RSS feed on my site. Let me know how we can do that.


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